E_NO_SUCH_BLOG

Programming, philosophy, pedaling.


Ballad of a D Racer

Apr 5, 2017

Tags: umd, cycling

Friday

Skip class.

Pack your bag. Forget anything?

Unpack your bag. Pack it back up.

Try to ride your bike in sneakers to the car.

Get in the car.

Drive.

Drive some more. Listen to Alt Nation because the driver decides the music.

Stop at a VA gas station. Buy some fig bars while the cashier eyes the team suspiciously.

Drive some more.

Stop at a Chipotle. Eat your calorie bowl.

Make it to the hotel by midnight. Unpack. Pass out.

Saturday

Wake up at 6.

Change into your kit. Try not to flash your teammates. Fail.

Go downstairs.

Bug whoever is at the front desk to start the “complimentary continental breakfast” early.

Choke down a bowl of lukewarm instant oatmeal and steal take as many bananas as you can.

Get in the car.

Drive to the race. Don’t even think about warming up; you’re racing as soon as you get there.

Register. Get your number pinned on.

Line up. Talk to the other D riders. Make fun of Navy.

Start. Race. Race harder.

Get dropped. Catch back up. Get dropped again.

Bonk. Eat a Clif bar.

Blow a snot cannon. Drop a bottle.

When does the climb end?

Finish.

Eat your fig bars and stolen bananas. Drink a soda.

Support your C, B, and A teammates.

Man the feed zone. Pass a bottle to the wrong team by mistake.

Get your results. At least you weren't last finished.

Find a local restaurant that will feed >20 very smelly and hungry cyclists.

Eat a whole pizza.

Drive back to the hotel. Pass out.

Sunday

Wake up at 6:15. Kit up. Repeat the hotel breakfast.

Drive to the crit. How bad can a 25 minute race be?

Take a corner too fast. Barely avoid crashing.

Watch someone else crash. Ignore the blood and paramedics.

Get dropped. Get lapped. Get lapped again.

Finish.

Eat whatever you have left.

Cheer the Cs, Bs, and As. Remind yourself that they’re doing an hour and going faster than you.

Watch the sprints.

Get in the car. We want to be back in College Park before midnight.

Drive. Drive some more.

Try to sleep in the car. Fail.

Stop at a NC gas station for coffee.

Debate stopping for Chipotle.

Get back. Pass out. Don’t bother unpacking.

Do it again next week.


Thanks

To my teammates - everything above is an (amalgamation of) my memories of races with the team.

To Ryan Kelly, for his inspirational blog post.